HI. MY NAME IS JOEL*
YOU MIGHT KNOW ME.
BUT IN CASE YOU DON'T,
I SAY AGAIN, I'M JOEL.
HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU?
YOU'RE LOOKING WELL.
AT LEAST I'M THAT'S WHAT I CHOOSE
TO BELIEVE.
FOR THE RECORD,
I CANNOT SEE YOU.
ALSO FOR THE RECORD,
I WRITE THINGS. THINGS LIKE,

WILD MAYONNAISE ADVENTURES,
23-HOUR COUNTRY SONGS ABOUT MAYONNAISE,
MAYO-DELIVERING AIRCRAFT FLIGHT PLANS,
CAUTIONARY GYM TALES,
MORE CAUTIONARY GYM TALES,
INTERPRETIVE SALSA REVIEWS,
SUBMARINE SANDWICH OBSSESSIONIST STORIES,

AND MANY OTHER THINGS.

*approximate appearance